The holiday season crept up on me again. I was just getting over summer and- BAM!- here we are; Santa Time. Parties every weekend, trying to make a good impression…, no, just trying not to seem too… too… sad? Tired? Disenfranchised? Bewildered. How do we zip through that calendar so fast? Before we know it, 2017 will be a distant memory. At any rate, another holiday season is upon us and the invitations are pouring in.

What am I going to wear this year?

I am getting too old for glitz and glamour. I want to make a bold statement, but my out of shape body says donuts and pudding are not bold. Somewhere between the sparkling, cleavage popping, slit-up-the-side-to-my-armpit, three-month’s-salary gown, and the mashed potatoes, is a line of ugly Christmas sweaters with my name on it.

I had no idea how many ugly options were available in Christmas wear, but it gave me hope for finding the ultimate message I want to convey. It is more than just sweaters. There are plenty of those, in pullover, cardigan, three-D, light-up, and hoody styles, but they make accessories too. There are:

  • leggings
  • socks
  • hats
  • pajamas
  • ugly sweaters for your pet
  • jackets
  • inflatables

Who knew? There are sweaters in all sizes and many themes, including:

  • Christmas movie classics
  • Santa
  • Reindeer
  • Elf
  • Snowman
  • Snowflake
  • Holiday food
  • Tacky thoughts
  • Fun for Everyone
  • Adult humor
  • Children’s Christmas classics

Somewhere out there is the perfect pair of elf boots to compliment my bold fashion statement. They are just the right shade of green, with the perfect amount of curl in the toe, and jingle bells that sing. They might even house a little Christmas magic to see me through this season.

Let the party begin!

I might be up for hosting a party this year. I will encourage my guests to make their own bold fashion statement. I will plan games and activities around sharing those statements. I will be the life of the party. Maybe wearing the lampshade will become a “thing”, or Christmas costume contests as part of the party fun. Regardless, no one can deny that an ugly Christmas sweater brings a certain carefree attitude to any winter holiday gathering.

My kids, the traditionalists, think I’m crazy for doing this. They might not be wrong. After all those decades of strictly enforced holiday goodness, the cumulative damage has been done, but that’s what makes this so perfect. I know I am not alone in seeking a new tradition that is a little irreverent, a bit twisted, and customizable to individual tastes. What better way to celebrate this “new world disorder”, than by throwing a “Festivus for the rest of us”, where we can speak our holiday minds freely and peaceably, with humor and diplomacy?

I believe this will be our new tradition. I will pass my hideous outfit down to my grandchildren proudly, and they will know the true meaning of holiday spirit. I hope.